Pretty blonde farting up a storm

You're finally awake. I know you look like you want to scream and yell right now and

you look pretty scared and I don't blame you. I would be pretty scared if I was in your

situation too. I know you thought we were going to have a really romantic dinner tonight

and we did. I cooked for you like I always do. I lit candles and I lit your favorite

one. Made your favorite drink. But you see, baby, I will never call you that again. Enjoy